Lining Normal
by Lolly Shearman
Summary: Blair Waldorf was bland, as she said, NYU sucked her royalties off her. Her relationship with Bass Jr. were struggling to hold on. After a broken heart she finds new meaning of life when she met the soulful musician John Garner. ch3 re-write
1. Anniversary without Bass

**Lining Normal**

Chapter 1 : Anniversary without Bass

Blair's POV

And so, it began the drought of my life. Sipping through my wine in Bass' apartment, though no Bass was near to be found. It should be our 3rd anniversary, but not even leather Prada was sent to me. Or those quirky Jimmy Choo's on our first one. Chocolates, flowers, diamonds, none was sent to say he was sorry for being late. I looked up to the clock and sighed. It was almost midnight. The day was almost off. Dorota was still patiently sitting by in the kitchen waiting for orders. I was still sparring on that Mr. Charles Bass Junior would just burst into the room, with all the things that a Waldorf need in his hands, himself.

"Miss Blair, I don't think Mister Chuck is coming," Dorota perched from the kitchen. I silenced myself to not agree with her. I was angry, furious, and mostly, broken hearted. We were not like we used to be. He was the soar of the company he built and I am… I am… I sighed. I am Blair Waldorf, Eleanor Rose's (yes, she changed her fucking name) daughter and an NYU student. That was it. I was not the trophy girlfriend indeed for Chuck Bass. I was becoming more and more ordinary by day beside him.

I used to be confident that I am Blair Waldorf, I am the highest in throne, I am the royalty of New York, but NYU just suck in everything that was royalty about me. I was so bland in there. Even with the finest Gucci and the most incredible Louis Vuitton they were so suited in GAP and Wal Mart that it bland my shinning roulette too. Ah, I should have persuaded more on Yale!

And those students, those awful students! Don't they care not to stare like I'm some kind of bitch! Do they have no respect?! I was handling everything pretty well and I am no Vanessa Abrams, hell no I am a hippie chick. Why do they like her more?! It's a school with majority Dan Humphreys too. They set all my confidence level down; they set me becoming a whining bitch. I hate NYU!

_Dong! _

The huge clock sprained its 12 o'clock sound. Or was it just me that it sounded so sad. I looked at the door; it was still standing still, no Bass.

"Miss Blair," Dorota was scared in looking at my face.

"Just pile up the food for the trash," I sipped my last wine and pull my purse. "You can go home after that."

"Where are you going Miss Blair?" Dorota looked at me now, and she could see my face was soulless. I was not angry nor was I sad, I was empty.

"I'll be taking a walk," and before she stopped me, I was gone. I walked through the lift, still hoping for that Bass to come in, but no Bass was in sight. I walked towards the exit, still no Bass.

The night was cold and it was very calm, as if someone asked the busy New York to be quiet for once. I walked through the pavement, realizing every pair of eyes was on me. Oh yeah, I am still in my glitzy yellow dress. Made it special for tonight but seems like this baby was for another audience, strangers. Thus, I shivered a bit, I forgot my coat. I rubbed my arms for warmness. Then the night gives a soar breeze which definitely forced me to enter the first restaurant I see (thankfully a nearly decent one). It was surprisingly filled with guest for this late of the night.

"Hello," I heard a voice of male behind me; some bearded guy flashed his very unflattering smile to me. "I see you're alone here, miss. How about I give you some company?"

I was disgusted. I was about to say every forceful curse I could to him but a sound from the microphone broke off.

"Patrick, you know you're married now, right?" I looked back, there was a man holding the microphone on stage with his guitar. He had his hood up and underneath was a rather unruly chocolate hair. His face was rather cute but the stubble I don't agree. But the eyes were rather fascinating. Even one inch of movement could change his blue eyes to green; and the other way round.

"John you better don't rummage my charms on this young lady here," the loathed Patrick yelled behind me. But Patrick laughed after that, which surprised me. The guy with the guitar called John also laughed.

I feel someone pulling me afterwards; a petite blond with somehow squinty eyes with aprons on. She smiled and gave this weird signs with her hands.

"Urm, she said sorry about Patrick," I looked up again on the stage, the guy John was seated on a high chair while ready to strum his guitar. "And please take a seat, she'll bring the menu."

I was quite embarrassed when people stared. This was not the kind of attention I wanted. But people quickly turned their heads away towards the stage when John started strumming his guitar.

"You might know this song by the way, it's my favourite," he strummed the guitar again and I realized I recognized the song. Jeff Buckley's Last Goodbye.

This is our last goodbye  
I hate to feel the love between us die  
But it's over  
Just hear this and then I'll go  
you gave me more to live for,  
more than you'll ever know.

This is our last embrace,  
must I dream and always see your face  
why can't we overcome this wall  
Baby, maybe it is just because I didn't know you at all.  
Kiss me, please, kiss me  
but kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation  
you know, it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time  
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye.

Did you say "no, this can't happen to me,"  
and did you rush to the phone to call?  
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying,  
"maybe... you didn't know him at all."  
Well, the bells out in the church tower chime  
burning clues into this heart of mine  
thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memory

His voice, it was no Jeff Buckley. But it was his own soulful extent in the song. As if he was singing it for someone. He drags every note into perfect pitch. He gasped every air when he sings as if it was his last breathe. He summoned his eyes into deep feelings. The song was perfectly sung. I was deeply connected to every word he strum in melody, as if I was connected to him.

It didn't collapse to me that the blonde girl bring the menu 3 minutes ago. She was standing there smiling, as if she always seen circumstances like this. I was still out of words when I realized I was gaping stupidly at John's performance.

The blonde girl waved the menu at me. I spoke, realizing something. "I'm not hungry, and I really need to go." I stood up and walked out of the restaurant. I could feel the petite girl's eyes following me until I was out of her sight.

I was walking and without notice, I was in Park Avenue. The park at night was strangely terrifying, but I was not leaving. In fact, I've stayed. John's voice was still haunting me, especially the words "Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying, maybe... you didn't know him at all." It somehow struck to me how Chuck and I were cased in our engagements. I don't know him anymore. Without notice, I dropped to my knees and shed all my tears that I have coveted in my chest, feelings that were fighting to go out. I was crying for my life, a real cry for my pity self.

* * *

**This is my first time writing a Gossip Girl Fanfiction. I always wanted to know if Blair Waldorf was capable to be normal and I guess when she entered NYU, anything is a possibility. But if she was still having a relationship with Chuck there was no way my 'normal Blair' could happen so this fiction will not be about Chuck and Blair (though I love them in Gossip Girl!). The pairing of this fiction will be Blair and a new character I created which is John Garner, also an NYU student who likes to keeps a low profile and play on open mics. When I was writing the story, my image of John was sort of Robert Pattinson-esque and I thought he was my perfect John. So I hope you guys like it and reviews are welcomed warmly.**


	2. JG

**Lining Normal**

Chapter 2 : J.G

Blair's POV.

"_Blair, would you stop hovering me like I'm a child," my dad laughed looking at my 13 years old self. I was very concerned, maybe even scared perhaps. He was lying on the hospital bed, how can I not worry? I skipped 2 days of school to take care of him. _

_Dad took my hand, "I'm supposed to be parent here. Since I am, I'm telling you I'm going to be fine. You can go home Blair."_

_I shook my head, showing how stubborn I am. He was sighing now. Seems that I had to explain to him of my stubbornness._

"_Daddy, I love you. And I don't leave when someone I love is sick," of course, it was the few times where I have shown my maturity at 13. My dad just sat silent and a smile interrupted his perfect feature._

"_I hope one boy would be able to make you feel that way, someday, the feeling of being with a person forever," and it all went blank._

I opened my eyes and blinked twice (where's my eye mask?), what an awful weird dream. No wait, that wasn't a dream; that was a memory. A hazy one if it wasn't for the vivid dream. All I remembered before was how dad suddenly passed out in front of me and I was sitting in the hospital for days hoping he would be healthy. That conversation was a blur by my worried self at that time. Now that I have seen it more clearly, I wonder what that was all about.

"_I hope one boy would be able to make you feel that way, someday, the feeling of being with a person forever."_

Being with one person forever? Well, it did happen at first with Nate. We vowed (or only I did) to be together forever when we were still a child. It didn't work out, obviously. Serena, my best friend did the damage. Long and hurtful story to tell. Then, I met Chuck Bass, the mighty playboy of the decade in the Upper East Side. Wait, scratch that. In the whole New York Continent.

Of course, our 3 year relationship shows that he wasn't that Chuck Bass anymore. But still, I was in concern now. About what, I haven't had any clue. As I was worried for something about Chuck, but I can't pinpoint on what. Yesterday, it felt as if I don't know him anymore. Or rather, I wouldn't like to know who he is now. I still feel I can be with him forever, but this everyday concern would only peel me to pieces by each coming day.

Then it struck me, the stain on the ceiling. What is that stain doing on that ceiling? "Dorota!" silence phases in the room. I shifted my position on the bed and then I realized, how uncomfortable the bed was. I caught in conscious now, I wasn't at home, nor was I in Bass' apartment. I was in my dorm, only several times used to be honest.

I curled up and looked at the empty bed next to mine. Used to be Georgina's but I sacked her out for good. She was sad Humphrey wasn't into her. The only time the boy was in use. I went out of bed and looked at the mirror.

"Oh shit! My eyes are like Panda's!" I rubbed the circles beneath my eyes, knew it wasn't caused by lack of comfortable sleep but the cry I had the night before. I sighed, not wanting to think of it. I might be paranoid again. Blair, this is so not you. Have some faith on Chuck like you always do.

I looked at my dress. "My D&G is all rumpled."

I heard my phone rang of Lady Gaga's Paparazzi. Oh Serena.

"Hello?" I heard a sighed voice from the other end. "Serena?"

"_Blair! Where have you been? I've tried to call you a thousand times!" _she shouted, worried.

"Hang on," I looked through my phone. 23 missed calls. "More like 23 times," I joked.

"_That's not the point! Where were you? Dorota called, said you haven't been home since the night and Chuck hasn't come to stop ringing me every five seconds because he can't get in touch to you."_

Chuck? Of course. What am I thinking? He's my Chuck, my sweetheart. I was wasting my cries yesterday!

"Did Chuck sound worried? Or more like he's sorry? Like really sorry? Maybe a combined of both?" this made me happy a little. I was concerned out of nothing.

"_Blair this is not another game you are playing to get back to Chuck is it?" _What? No! She's my best friend but she's so oblivious of things about me at times. _"Blair, he's sorry he forgot your dinner yesterday…" _And I hung up. God Serena's so hateful at times! Dinner? Did she even listen to me yesterday what I was so excited about? I said anniversary damn it not a fucking dinner!

And what has that made of Chuck? Did he forget our anniversary for a dinner too? Gee, I wonder if he remembered my name! I looked around, patiently stopping myself from crying. I hate crying. And I don't want to look more like a freaking panda.

My phone rang again, same song. Serena. I turned my phone off. There, worry all you want. I checked my closet. Last years design. Ugh, could life be more of hell? I took a purple Chloe's blouse and a proper white Balmain skirt. Thank goodness it is spring, I don't have to wear the only awful last year's coat in there.

Whatever sadness I have, I still have to go to class. I promised my dad, and my step-dad, Cyrus, that I'll do well. It's their proposition to see me succeed. I may not succeed in ruling NYU but I will succeed at least being a high credited student here.

After an awful shower and a few re-thinking of the clothes, I head out from my dorm into my class. I let my hair down and leaved the head band, nothing mixed with the outfit. I turned my phone on. 31 missed calls from Serena. Seems that she stopped 20 minutes ago. Oh well, she still has her own paparazzi to settle down; she's busy. But then I looked up to my phone again, no miss call from Chuck. I guess Serena was lying when she said Chuck was sorry.

I am very disinterested in the Economics class. Mr. What's-His-Name was going on and on of what I call zero-error in my mind. I may be good to lie at people's faces right now if they asked me if I'm fine (who will ask in this miserable place?) but not to my concentration. I was more focused to not suddenly break down in tears but just kept looking. At least I looked like I was interested in the class. I should win an Oscar for that.

"Mr. Garner there who is somehow not acknowledging what we have been discussing as always," the class broke into giggles. Did I miss some kind of inside joke? Few of them swing their head to the left side of the class. I turned too, to see a guy in a baseball cap rubbing his face and slapped himself a few times to wake up. I couldn't see his face, he was a couple of rows in front of me. But I do recognize his voice.

"Yeah, sorry bout that," he adjusted himself in his seat. "I, uh, I had this thing, last night and um…"

"Save it after class, Mr. Garner," and the professor kept it on with his economical slate. I was appealed though by my conscious to know if the recognized was actually him, the guy who did the open mic last night. John. I wasn't sure.

Class ended, thank you God. People rushed to step out and I saw the Garner guy stood in front of the professor's desk rubbing his head. He had his cap off and his chocolate hair was sticking out in every position. I slowed my pace to get a peek on his face, to confirm that it was him.

Within two seconds of a time, I realized it was him. He gazed from the professor to me in a split second, changing his eye colour from blue to green and they found it's way back to the professor. I looked away, surprisingly embarrassed that I was checking if he was the guy from last night or not. Why should I care? He's a definite stranger!

I walked out of class, surprisingly in a hurried pace, not really looking where I'm going. I don't really know where to go now. Plus, I don't know why I'm walking in such a fast pace. I feel like I was scared that guy was going to catch up to me and I'm going to be bailed up in full embarrassment. Plus, he might think that I was checking him out! No!

"Blair?!" I heard someone yelling my name out. God, did he catch up on me! I fastened my pace, almost running now. I daren't to look back. "Blair, wait up!" Shit, his voice was even louder now.

I've lost, he caught me. Rather that he caught my arm, stopping my pace.

"Okay, I'm not actually looking at you alright. I was just checking if you were the…" I was scribbling all the words I can find in my head, closing my eyes to dilute any kind of embarrassment he might mention.

"Blair, what the hell are you talking about?" then I realized, it wasn't John. I opened my eyes. It was…

"Humphrey?" I looked at my arm that he touched and automatically yanked him away. "Eww! Don't touch me with that hands that have touched Georgina!"

"Okay, now I know you're actually Blair. Serena said you have somehow changed in the tone of voice," he pulled his hands up not to touch me. "Listen, I'm not here to perpetuate any reason for you to pull all sorts of negativity towards me okay, not that I'm not used to it but I'm just helping Serena out here. She tried calling you a few hundred times and you won't answer so she called me to ask you, how are you?"

That was so Dan Humphrey. Couldn't help to stop his babbling invading the earth. "Tell Serena, I'm fine. I look like a panda, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary, my best friend is oblivious and I am wearing last year's clothes. So I'm fine."

"Okay, can you just repeat that, cause I'm not exactly following, and the panda thing," he needs help.

"Just report to her that I said I'm fine. And I don't really need anyone right now," I walked away, feeling the sadness that I left before my curiosity and embarrassment in economics appeared. I looked around, saw a flock of people in every end, the simple bees buzzing of noise. I need quiet and peace.

And here I am, in the library. Peaceful enough, but too much people. I walked down each isle to find a very commuted space from everyone. There was a table far away from everyone's, no one was at it and that was what I took. I took a seat and looked outside the panelled window. NYU, it seemed so normal and so easy for those people, but definitely the hardest part in my life now. Minus the new paranoia of Chuck in mind, I still haven't got a clue why I was so concerned. He missed my birthday last year but it doesn't get me all emotional as this had.

I looked down and opened the economics book. Sometimes you got to get used to drain all your emotions with work. That was what I'm doing in the perfect peace until…

"Excuse me," I looked up, kind of in fright that his voice was so recognizable. It was him. John. Embarrassment on a scale of a hundred came in. This guy must think I'm into him or something. Why was he lurking everywhere I see?

"Um, you're in my seat," wait what? His seat.

"Your seat?" I asked back, feeling a bit down that I was wrong in acknowledging his intention.

"Yeah, everyday on the weekdays I sit here to catch up some sleep and you're sitting on it," he smiled, his eyes were glinting blue in the sun, not that I realized it often.

"You mean the sleep in class just now wasn't enough?" I thought he would be mad at my sarcastic remark but he laughed, understanding my irony. I wasn't satisfied. "Well, I don't see any name here indicating that this is your seat. It is a public library for every student here."

"Okay," he went near me and lifted my book. Before I said anything, he pointed to the desk where there was some kind of engraved writing on the table. J.G. "That's my initials and that said much that you're in my seat."

I was not giving up. "Okay John Garner. That doesn't mean anything but vandalising public property."

"I paid my tax; that should pay up for that," he smiled again. It was annoying though kind of endearing.

I looked up, giving my perfect bitch face. I wasn't giving up. I have my peace in this seat so I'm not going anywhere. He has to give up.

"Well fine," yes! I win! "Its not the only seat here so…" he pulled the chair in front of me and sat on it. "Good day, miss." He buried his face in his arms, dozing off. I was defeated. Well, I am still on my peaceful seat but it wasn't exactly in mind that he'll still be around.

I looked at him, he was like a little boy after his soccer practice, burying himself on the dining table being so exhausted. I smiled a bit. He's annoying but still kind of cute.

Cute? What the hell, Blair?! Why are you calling this immensely hateful guy cute?! He's a stranger and worst of all, an annoying one. I suggest myself (few times) to ignore the guy. He wasn't snoring or making any sounds; he sleeps quite peacefully, but I feel as if the guy himself was disturbing my focus. I couldn't help but watch him sleep. He does a few (unrealized) shift of movement to comfort himself and I find myself looking at him.

My phone vibrated (it was on silent mode) and I had to juggle my things in my bag to find it. Serena again. I hung up on her, putting the phone on the table. It vibrated again, Serena. "Gee, stop calling me!" I hissed between my breath, which I noticed the guy in front of me was up, looking at me.

"You're up?" I kind of choked the words out.

"Yeah, your phone was the alarm," he pointed at my berry.

"Sorry," wait, why was I supposed to be sorry? "Well, you might want to go and find another suitable table so I can't interrupt you."

"No, am not leaving," he smiled, his eyes squinted out of sleepiness. He had his left hand supporting his face. My phone vibrated again, gosh can Serena stop calling! I left it on the table, making it turning around and round. "You're not getting that?"

I sighed. "I told you, if you can't stand that find somewhere else to sleep."

"If you're not I can take it for you," before I said no he snatched my phone away and looked up to it. "Serena, nice name." I tried to reach for it but his free hand pushed any of my reaching.

"Don't you dare!" I threatened him.

"I need my sleep, so," he answered. Damn! "Hello?"

I couldn't stop him, couldn't even reach him. God, why was this stranger messing up my life! He stepped quiet for awhile, I knew Serena was probably surprised a male was answering my phone.

"Um, who are you looking for?" he asked. I tried snatching again but his hand caught mine and locked it down on the table. "Blair? Right. Um…" before he continued he listened again. "Who me? I'm just a guy who needs some sleep here and seems like Blair is out of reach for now. So, bye." He passed the phone back to me. "Thank me later."

Before I could beat him to death, I realized he was still pressing my hand on the table. He noticed that and apologized, "Sorry, Blair." He learned my name, and it was quite tasteful how he had spoken them. I pinch my own hand. Silly Blair, what has got into you!

"Listen, I don't know who you are or what the hell you are doing near me but I want to get one thing clear," I spoke to his face without blinking. "No stranger is allowed to just snatch my phone like you just did."

"But you clearly knew me right?" I was surprised by his relaxed self. He was so easy in everything, smooth in every sentence he spoke.

"What do you mean I know you?"

"Well, when I showed you that engrave I made there, I only said that was my initial, but I didn't say my own name. You can't know a name just by looking at initials right?" shit. I slipped. Get a grip Blair! Why am I so nervous talking to this guy!

"Well, I am observant at things and your name…" what am I blabbing?!

He cut me off. "You like Jeff Buckley?"

"What?" I can't believe he just turned this into one whole other conversation. Not that I mind, I don't want to explain how I knew his name.

"Jeff Buckley. I can see that you were humming to the song last night," he smiled, very much an agonizing sweet smile, which I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"That is um… That's my dad's favourite song. He listens to it every night. Well used too. Now its all this weird French songs I don't really understand," I laughed a bit, surprised that I did to be honest.

"So I take that that's the only song you knew of him?" he was leaning forward, and surprisingly so am I. I was really comfortable now chatting with him. It feels much at ease.

"No. His version of Hallelujah was pretty great and I loved Lilac Wine too and um…" I looked at his face and he was a bit surprised by it. "What?"

He chuckled a bit before getting his face straight. "Well, you don't really look like a girl who listens to someone like Jeff Buckley." I broaden my shoulder and smirked.

"What type of girl do you think I am?" I am a little offended but I was really glad he was straight up honest about it.

"Just a…" he stopped, just looking at me. As if he was searching something in me through my eyes. "Just an ordinary girl. But you proved me wrong on that."

It wasn't exactly what I thought he would say. Which was 'spoiled little brats of Upper East Side', or something like that. He thought I was ordinary, which might be an insult but he said it as if it were a compliment. I step back into the real world when I realized I was silent, he was too and he smiled.

"Well, its almost noon and I have to get lunch before you start hearing my stomach crumbling and um, its not really a fascinating sound, trust me," he laughed at his own joke. He smiled at me. "Its really nice to meet you, Blair." I was somehow a bit happy that he had pronounced my name with a perfect hitch of sound.

"Nice to meet you too, John."

* * *

**Ah, this was pretty long. Not to mention I changed it quite a few times before posting because I really wanted them to meet properly like I have in my head. I guess this is the best I could do. Thank you for those who reviewed and thank you for those who have read this fiction too. If you guys have any ideas to put in, just let me know in the reviews and it will be a big help too. Thank you!**


	3. Roses on My Cheek

**Lining Normal**

**A Re-Write**

Chapter 3 : Roses on My Cheek

Blair's POV

I was walking back to my dorm and found myself breathing quite slow, some kind of fresh beat in my heart, a flute of warmness. I looked down and saw my toes were crumpling inside my shoes and my feet were almost pointing to each other. I realized a horror in my basic mind.

"Oh God for Audrey Hepburn's dearest LBD please don't say," yes, Blair Waldorf has roses on her cheek. I am liking John Garner more than I should. With a sudden realization, I skipped a beat on my heart for that thoughts.

"Oh My God," disturbingly, I crashed my whole weight on my bed, pounced my face on the pillow. I stayed in the same position thinking the same thing over and over again, what is in John Garner? What is in him that puts roses on my cheek? Because he's a musician, no. Because he's a smooth talker? No, in fact he rather spoke everything in normal tone, or more correctly, annoying tone.

"I need someone," I searched in my bag for my freaking Berry. The fact that when I got my Berry and it suddenly jumps into a song gave me a good squeal of fright. "Jesus!"

I looked through the number, didn't recognize them and of course, I disconnected the line. I called my blonde best friend.

"Serena? I need you. ASAP. I mean freaking ASAP. Its 911 in the whole area and I don't know what to do!" I was panicking. Weird, this is the first time I've panicked over some boy. Maybe my meltdown in NYU has given me a less Blair Waldorf's vibe.

-Exactly an hour later-

"Blair?" Serena knocked on my door. I literally scratch the door open. "What in the wo…"

"S!" I hugged her, more than the usual tight I should. I know how she looked at me, like I was a kitten just escaped from a hungry dog.

"B? What is wrong with you? I mean escaping all of my phone calls after an overnight worry plus Dan, saying you are a little out of place now, what is going on? And who was that guy on your phone?"

"I skipped a beat!" I finally looked into Serena's eyes. "I skipped a freaking beat on him. Hell, he painted roses on my cheeks S! And no one but Chuck and Nate had painted roses on my cheeks!"

"What? Who are you talking about?" Serena held me up from falling. I know it seems dramatic to fall but my knees are starting to weaken.

"Urm," should I say his name or shouldn't I say his name? "He's um, his name is J.G." Even for his initials, I skipped a beat. What is wrong with you Blair?

"J.G? Who the hell is J.G?"

"He is uh, he is the one who answered your call, just before," and the whole memory of our conversation played in fast-forward in my mind. I shrink my thoughts away, and held my cheek. Roses on my cheek! Lord help me!

"And this guy, J.G, made you skipped a beat and paint roses on your cheek?" for others it might sound a little off but it was me and Serena's code. Only we can transport out telepathy together. "So, what is left for Chuck?"

"Chuck?" I didn't apply those in the previous calculation. All I ever notice were somehow my unusual feelings towards John. It was as if I was 13 again, finding my first love and giggling for that first boy I liked, gushing or rather dramatically worrying these beating in my heart and hard red roses painted on my cheek. And in all those anxiety, Chuck Bass has somehow vanished in the area, as if I have forgotten, Chuck Bass is my boyfriend.

"I didn't recall Chuck," I looked at the empty space between us. "I didn't remember him at all." Then I looked at Serena, worried. "What is wrong with me S?" I almost shed my tears and it wasn't for the dramatic effect, I was crying for something I don't realize in a long time. I'm losing Chuck.

He wasn't always there for me anymore. He was always out for his work, for himself. Assuring the world that he is better than his own father. He was on war with everything. And as the war does not coordinate well with me, we departed slowly. I haven't seen it till this day, that I am finding our spark out there in another guy. I might as well misunderstand the friendship spark I had John.

"I'm misunderstanding everything S," I looked up to my friend. "Chuck was missing, and I was alone and, John, he was nice." And he was just being nice, a comfy, no flirting moment of conversation between us. No, just two people sharing thoughts, and I haven't done that for awhile.

"B, I think you better talk to Chuck," Serena soothed my back but her words scares me. Talk to Chuck? What am I to say anything? If I ask him for my sake only, it would be selfish of me and to his selfish it causes me pain. Both of us are stubborn, and one has to give up for the war to end. But is it me who should as Chuck was fighting himself right now, to be something and foolish of me asking him to let go, when I was the one pushing him in yesteryear.

"Yeah, maybe I'll call him later," I looked down at my phone. Later seems so long at that time.

"Actually, he's right downstairs," this fact either surprised me or scare me, one of the two or both, I don't know. It was so mixed. "B, he's also worried about you. I mean obviously this J.G guy was just in the line of his life that somehow for a day includes yourself but Blair, I know you and I know Chuck, and I know you loved each other. What you and Chuck have are more than skipping a beat in your heart or paint roses on your cheeks, you're in love Blair. This is just; I promise you, a day or two that the devil finally tried to mess up your mind. You can go through it with Chuck."

At the time, her reasoning runs well in my mind as well as in my heart. I still do love Chuck, and we'll get through it. I just have to talk to Chuck. Discuss, like real in love couples do. But why am I not comfortable of all this. Something felt misplaced yet I counted all the right routes in this area, everything was perfectly nestled in their place, yet some unspoken value was there.

I went down from my dorm, and saw Chuck standing handsomely in front of the door. He looked at me, and I saw a relief drenching his expression. Without even a word escaping his mouth, he walked towards me and crushed my body between his arms. It was a comfort I missed. I closed my eyes so that all senses will only rapture to his warm heat. With a soft voice he said, "Hey."

"Hey," I realized that I was in fact glad I had him in my arms now, my heart stopped skipped and the roses on my cheeks have faded, which somehow surprised me a little that they were gone in a moment like this. But I feel love, the love that I have for Chuck, and for that, it was enough. "I'm sorry I worried you. I guess, its one of Blair's dramatic effect again." I don't know since when I make fun of myself, but it has to stop as Chuck pulled himself away to look at my face, to see if I'm alright.

"Blair, don't blame yourself for what happened. Its all my fault okay. I forgot. I went myself inside the company to much that I didn't realize, our anniversary. Our important most important day perhaps and I foolishly..." I stopped him from saying anything by planting my lips on his, as Chuck Bass doesn't do apologies and so when he does, it was meant from the bottom of his heart.

* * *

"So apparently eating strawberries inside an NYU dorm considers as an anniversary date?" Chuck asked before I chunked another strawberry inside his mouth to make him quiet.

"I like strawberries and I have announced a declaration that I am having renovations here and the room is for destructions," I bite a small strawberry before kissing Chuck again, leaving red stains beside his mouth. "I know the most delicious way for destruction." Chuck grinned and pushed me underneath him, kissing my neck and groping my body in all the right way.

_Knock! Knock!_

Of course, a moment so perfect was ruined by two simple knocks on the door. I was distracted, but Chuck clearly was not, bitting my neck smoothly. The distractions fade. But...

_Knock! Knock!_

"What?!" Chuck is distracted now, and was obviously a little angered. Chuck loses his temper easily nowadays.

"I'll get it, okay. This will take a minute," I pushed him gently, in parallel of comforting him to calm down. I walked towards the door, unlocking it and opened a little peak of who's there. A girl with tiny body but bigger than ever thick glasses. Do I know her? Uhh, no. "Who are you? What do you want? And you're kinda disturbing me. I'll give you 2 seconds because I'm nice."

"Do you know John Garner?" she asked so suddenly. For someone so petite she does have a very deep voice. But the more important question was, why was that name still engulfing my life when it was already resorted on the right way? She noticed my silence and stare. "Well, do you know the guy?"

"Well, no, but, em, yes. I don't know?!" whats with me, I'm stuttering. A Waldorf doesn't stutter! "What is it matter to you anyway?"

"Here," she held up a yellow flier. I took it from her and saw a headline of 'NYU On The Stage : Talentime'. "We heard him singing. He's good. He should enter. And I want you to ask him to enter."

I looked at her. "Are you kidding me? I don't know the guy THAT well. I mean he's okay as a singer, brilliant perhaps but.. but," I'm stuttering again. Why am I messing up my words for the guy? "Why don't you give it to him yourself?" Durh, is this girl stupid?

"I've tried," she said with a sour voice. "All the Talentime community have tried. He said no to each of them. And you're seem to be the only student he talks to on campus. So you must be someone near to him." Wait, what? I am the only student he has spoken to. I don't know why, but flowers were somehow blooming in my stomach and roses were slowly painted on my cheek. Jesus! What am I blushing for?!

"Listen, I don't think he'll..." I was not the straight up Blair Waldorf when I am talking about John. I pinched myself to relax, and told myself it will fade. Will it?

"Just ask him to audition and tell him it wont hurt trying. He's very talented and some of the music producers in New York are actually watching the stage that night. He might get signed, who knows. Its about bringing on the talent. A very rare opportunity of course," she said flatly. I know why John was not interested, I mean who will be if the promoter was talking so blatantly flat.

"I'm not saying 'Make sure he enters' but, it won't hurt if you ask him would it?" her question made me stop myself for a moment from any action. The part where 'it won't hurt' somehow carved in my soul. Would it? Why would it hurt? Who is John Garner to me anyway?

And so the last question stays with me, stayed so deep inside me even when I make love to Chuck.

* * *

I stared at the restaurant where I met John the first time. Its the only place I knew where to find him outside of campus. Chuck was already on his way back to his office after our 'session' in my dorm. He did asked me a whole lot of question after our 'session'.

_"Who is this Garner guy?" he heard my conversation with spectacled girl and he caught the name too._

_"No one. Just one of my class mate," I didn't lie. "She asked me to pass this to him." I waved the yellow flyer to him._

_"And you being the only person he talks to? Sounded a bit different," Chuck were curious, he was supposed to. At normal rate, I would be happy, but since I think I am crazy now, its annoying with his questions._

_"Thats because I asked him about that one question once," liar. "It was a one minute conversation," more like an hour. "And they thought we were like buddies after that. You know people," yeah, lying bitches._

_"How is this guy's appearance?" good God Chuck stop with the questions!_

_"Fat, short and scary. Not at all nice," actually, John is very slender, 6 ft 2 maybe and definitely not scary, he's actually very good looking. And fairly, very nice despite the annoying attitude. Wait, did I just compliment him with a whole bunch of nice things! Blair you are kidding me!_

_Chuck stopped his questions after that. He looked like he trusted me, which I want to yell that he shouldn't have. But I wasn't about to ruin a sewn back relationship. Its like snipping a good sewing. _

I am completely, utterly messing my head with reality now. Its too much and I have no idea what am I doing here, holding the yellow flier I was supposed to 'pass on'. But maybe its okay, just asking wont hurt, just a small other talk won't hurt. Why would it hurt?

I entered the restaurant, it was a bit packed. Of course, it was dinner time. I looked on stage, no one were on the mike. Now I wonder if John won't be performing tonight. Not expecting it, I was a little thrilled to have him singing again. He has a voice of an ange... Okay Blair, this going to stop this "Instance!" I yelled the last word out.

"Wow, Blair. Its much to be talking to yourself but here, you'll scare the kids away," I was startled by his musical voice. I looked back and saw John with his hand holding the tray and wearing an apron. He smiled. I obeyed myself a smile back, and genuinely too.

"What are you doing?" I asked, surprisingly casual. My nerve was gone, it felt good to talk to him again, somehow.

"I'm helping out," he placed the tray on the bar and turned himself to me. "Ruth had to go to the hospital. His aunt or someone got sick and..." he realized how I was estranged from anyone named Ruth. Do I know a Ruth? "The blonde, the small blonde who served you yesterday, or was it the day before yesterday. Sorry, I mix up my days sometimes." It kinda hurt that he didn't remember our first meeting. Not that I care!

"Well, it suits you. I mean, the apron and the tray, it really suits you," he chuckled at the comment and I found myself laughing along with him. His laugh was somehow contagious.

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically, rubbing his hands to the apron. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

I realized I was standing like a dumb Barbie (at least I'm a Barbie with a good Channel on). I handed over of what seems to be a very crumpled yellow trash. I pulled my hand back, embarrassed by it. Must have twisted it due to my nerve, which I don't know why was it there.

"Sorry," I straightened the paper up, it wasn't ironed straight obviously but as long as he could read what's on it, I handed it to him. "Here."

He looked at me with a weird expression. "You're kidding me, right?" Why was I kidding? The fact that I came here to a place that is so low beneath my standard finding a guy who I just met just to pass him a flyer made by some weird girl with glasses, does it sound like a joke? On honest thought, it does.

He took the paper and scanned it, leaving a small laugh. "You've got to be kidding me. I mean I didn't count you as one of them."

"One of... them?" I didn't realize NYU has a cult now.

"The weird community who desperately needs entertainers for their forsaken show, surveying every inch of the student who apparently pinch a good note on singing, pressing pressure on those poor fellows in this entertainment bullshit?" he actually tore the paper off. "No thanks."

"Well, one, for sure is I have never ever heard of them till today so I'm not one of them. And two, you are being ridiculously negative about a community who may just wanna help you with the talent scout," when I said this, he somehow hiss during his forced smile. "And three, you have a great ta..."

"Hey you wanna hang out somewhere else?" he suddenly cuts my words. He loved to do that and it was annoying.

"What?"

"Hang out. Somewhere else. I mean Ruth's shift is almost over which means I don't have anything else to do tonight and yes, I'm kinda asking you out," he gave his goofy smile, innocently. How could he so smoothly ask me out like that?

"Urm..." okay, Blair Waldorf being speechless was totally surprising! If I was on a flirt mode it should be 'What do you have in mind?'. If I was saying no, it should be 'Next time okay, or maybe never'. If I was pressing a hell no, it should be, 'Only in your dreams but I would make a pact with the devil to have you not even making it to dream of me'. But I was speechless.

"Okay, its not like its gonna be a date or anything. Just hang out. As you see we have drunken fathers night on my right and first time beer chuggers on my left plus a very hectic restaurant on dinner time. I need a clear mind after working and I'm simply asking you to join in," he smiled. Of course, how could I accept his invitation as I knew he has other things on his mind.

So, I was following him, to his unfortunate bicycle. What?

"Are you sure it's safe?" I asked, looking at his somewhat falling into pieces bicycle. He gave me a look which says "Yeah." I wasn't confident. "What will happen if suddenly your seemingly rusted and almost dead bicycle here crash into lets say a white honey van like we have over there, do you think we'll still make it to tomorrow, in full?" He smiled, confidently nodding another "Yeah." Puts my confidence lower.

"Hey, don't pick on this baby okay. Its no Limo or whatever you rich kid climb on this days," I almost want to add on his rather sarcastic pressing on the 'rich kid' part but he overpower my words. "But this baby here, the rusted and almost dead bicycle is the one who brings me from one place to another. And I appreciate it for that." He smiled. Seems like he was genuine about it. Honestly, even if it was kinda weird, it felt sweet for him to feel that way.

Oh, stop it Blair! I don't even know what am I doing here! Why am I talking to him at this point?! Why did I say the damned 'Okay' to his invitation 10 minutes ago?! I should just go home right now! Go home Blair!

"Come on," he smiled and did I here pleading in his voice? "I promise you, if we crash, I'll be your Superman, swept you off your feet or something and fly you to a safe place. How's that sound?" He smiled, somewhat an assurance that he will protect me from hurt during the ride.

I believed him.

At the moment, I instinctively thought that he was a wizard who has his magic spell to drizzle me into confusions and kept messing my decisions, as I went sitting as his passenger, on his nearly dead bicycle, to somewhere I would never imagine I would center my feet on as a Waldorf.

* * *

**I had to make a few changes as somehow I hated how I have written of John Garner's character in the previous chapter 3. Now it felt much better as this is the John Garner I have in mind since first. Reviews are pleasurably welcomed. Ideas shared are given gratitudes. Of course, it makes my heart break like Blair to have her torn between Chuck and John, as I love Chuck and my own John.**


	4. One Night Only

**Lining Normal**

**Chapter 4 : One Night Only**

Blair's POV

"You wanna know something, Miss Waldorf?" I was surprised at the sudden surname he used. "You're heavier than I thought." I could feel a bottled up rage on my face. No one says Blair Waldorf is fat! My automatic reaction was hitting his back, quite harder than I should because he topples a bit before getting back his balance.

"Ow! What was that for? Blair, we could get in an accident here if you do that?" I hit him again, twice this time, but not as hard. I don't wanna die or even scratch a leg.

"No one is aloud to say I'm fat okay!" It was not just a hefty insult, it was a major one. "And I'm not heavy!"

"No one is saying that you're fat, Blair. For Christ' sake, I'm just saying you're heavier than I thought," slam, another hit. "Okay, stop that! Why are you so sensitive with your weight?"

"I'm sorry if I'm hypersensitive with my weight, douche!" Of course, what do you know of mom's appeal to have me 'tone down' a bit? What do you know that I'm not the ideal model that mom perceive me to? "I'm not Serena okay!" I didn't realize I was saying that a little too loud.

I went silent. Screw it, why am I blabbing this past? I should be over it by now.

"Who's Serena?" and he had to ask. I'll twist his neck if it was legal. "Owh, is that the girl who called you back then in the library?"

"It's none of your business," I lowered my head, to recoil all of my shame back. Ok, he actually remembered the phase of Serena in our conversation that day. Of course, everybody just loved her.

"Hey, sorry okay, I said that. I'm blunt with my words sometimes," you got that right. "But you know what my impression was when we talked at the library?" I can't believe that I was interested in listening to this.

"What?"

"This girl, is somewhat so skinny she needs more meat in her bones or people would easily crush her into pieces. I was kind of worried you won't balance yourself on the bike if you have zero lbs in there," he laughed a little afterwards. I don't know whether it was a compliment or a tease, but I felt warmth in me, somehow. Geez, Blair! Cut it out!

Then it occurred to me a question. "Since you don't really have friends to begin with, why suddenly talk, to me?" I have to admit, I am wondering if it has anything for me being beautiful. Ah stop it!

He kinda turned his head back a bit and I could feel his zero hesitation to say this. "I have friends. And you seem like one of those rich kids that is nice enough to talk with." I could feel my heart poured with grains of salt.

"Whatever." I could feel him smile. Dumbass.

"Why say I don't have friends?" he asked, and I was somehow tumbling to get an answer. Weird.

"Well, you know. That lady, girl, who wanted you to perform, actually said that you…" how the hell should I say this. Its embarrassing! "That I, um, I am the only… one you've ever spoken to…" That's a really hard line to pull out. Why does this embarrass me? No idea. Maybe its because for me to be the only girl, no, scratch that, the only person in NYU he's ever spoken to, makes me feel that he may like me. Geez, I'm being like a kid! Don't be so full of yourself Blair!

"Oh that," he laughed a little. Its not a joke, jerk! "Well, I choose my friends and somehow, you made the list in NYU. In fact, be glad you're the first." The word friends simmer down my blush a bit, I am not sure if I'm glad or not.

"Well, you're not in my friend list, just to be clear," I could hear him chuckle. "Just an acquaintance." So why am I on his bike?

"I'll make through up there, you'll see," confident, I see. I don't know how he could be so confident in this type of situation.

We cycled, or he cycled, almost an hour now. How fast does time went? How far could this place be and where the hell is he planning on taking me? And more importantly, why am I doing this? Showing off my face on a bicycle in New York with a barely known person? I must be out of my mind.

And then Chuck came in my mind. Chuck? CHUCK! OMG, he must be waiting for me in my dorm right now! He must be psyched worried on my whereabouts! Damn, I have to go back!

"Hey, send me b…"

"We're here!" he cut me off, I seriously would strangle him if he does it again. I looked up and realized we're in Manhattan now, on Bleecker St. in front of John's Pizza parlour.

"What? If you wanted a pizza you should just go somewhere around the corner, moron," okay, if I was with John, my elite society language just abruptly vanish. Well, I guess it is not worth to talk so posh to him.

"I liked John's the most, excuse me and please, the pizza around the corner is just awful after you tasted John's," he was bragging and bragging on it like a kid. Kind of… fresh actually. A male in his twenties usually had to brought up his mature phase but he was actually living his phase.

"Does it have anything to do with the name?" of course, if he said yes, then that is totally childish of him.

"Of course not silly," I could see he was covering it. Yes, he is childish. "Well, it was inaccurate to say I went through those roads just to eat pizza with my name on it, but its part of the deal."

"So you're saying you're a child who just wanna eat John's pizza no matter what," I'm loving this game now. Its time for his embarrassment.

"Yep," he smiled, actually proud of it. "And also for the fact we're eating for free if you go here."

"What?" how could you eat for free?

We entered the parlour, I could smell the parmesan already. It was almost full, but some were leaving already. Of course, its past dinner time already. I looked at John, he was scanning the whole room, finding someone. Maybe he has his girlfriend here or something, that's why the 'favourite place' thing. Why does it itch to say that?

"John!" I could hear a lady's tune calling his name. Both of us swung our heads around and from the kitchen, came this pretty 40-50 years old lady in apron. She hugged John. Wow, cougar much?

"Hey Ma," John gave back a hug. What?

"Ma?" it was inevitable for me to not respond. John looked at me.

"Oh yeah. Blair, meet my mom, the owner of this restaurant and Ma, meet Blair. She's a friend of mine in NYU," Ma? Oh now I see. Everything, or partially, cleared.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Garner," I held my hand. She took it. Tight grip.

"Pleasure! And stop the formality! Call me Emily," she smiled. I flake my eyes to John and he sighed. Seemed that Emily was extra excited, seeing that big smile of hers.

"Well, I'm hungry. Ma, can you get me one Pepperoni and Extra Cheese, and two cokes," he pushed his mother back into the kitchen.

"John, if you wanted to introduce me to your girlfriend, you should call. I could dress more nicely than this haggard thing," they whisper, but I could hear. Surprisingly, with a little confusion on why, I like Emily after she said that.

"Ma, your dressing is fine and she's a friend," and somehow, there goes my sheer. Blair, you have lost your mind.

"But you don't really bring your friends from NYU here, so this is a big event," Emily is really likeable.

"Extra Cheese Pepperoni, Ma," and with that, she disappeared behind the counter.

John jogged towards me, "Lets sit."

"So, you kinda own the place," I said when I sat down. We took the table farthest from the counter.

"What, this?" he pointed down. "No. This is totally Ma's pensioned business. I don't have anything to do with it."

"Pensioned business?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, she was a social worker back then. After she quit, she actually said, 'Hey, lets do a Pizza Parlour' or something like that," he smiled, his eyes fixed to the kitchen. "This is hers and she'll be handling it until her last breathe. Or after she gets bored. After that, our manager, Paul will be taking over."

"And what about you?" I asked.

"What about me?"

"After Paul takes over, what will you do?"

He smiled, showing a bit grin. "I'll still be here one night a week asking for free pizzas."

Interesting.

"Here you are, two cokes," a waitress with brunette hair served us our drinks. When she left, was that a glare she gave me?

"I'm not sure I ordered right. Do you want diet coke?"

"Shut up," I hit him playfully. "If I am here eating pizza, I might as well have the real coke." To be honest, its been a very, VERY, long time since I had a slice. To be compared to Serena everyday by mom is a hassle so I ended only eat what mom said was healthy.

"Well, taste a slice and you want nothing but John's afterwards," he smiled, his kid self was back.

"That's nice Garner, really.. great… commercial," I said it with full sarcasm. And without noticing, there was a real long pointless conversation, a pizza, two cokes and John, who sat there in front of me, cheered by every words I said. Hard to admit but, it feels nice.

Its been so long since I just, hang out. Usually it's the Gala, dinners and elite boring parties. Now was just a natural meeting with a good guy who brings up the silliest humour but I still beg for air due to too many laugh.

Its somehow just, normal.

It was around midnight and my stomach was so full it kinda hurt. To be honest, the Chuck I was worried about before, that feeling was still there. But I couldn't care more than just being with John now, my new friend.

Yes, he is just a new friend of mine. And it is nice having him around. That or I am just suppressing, I don't feel like thinking about it.

"Well, that's gold, you get to see Tommy Stevens officially close John's for the day," he referred to a high school boy who is locking the restaurant's door.

"Where's your mom?"

"She went out from the back door usually, and she leaves usually later in the morning," John said. After a 5 second silence, "Wanna see what she's doing?"

He pulled my hand, running to the back door. Before I realize where we were, I was still condemning my head on his skin touching mine. Blair, just don't think right now! Don't!

"Get down," he pulled me down, right under the window. I could here Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World' on disc. And after a clearer listen, I heard Emily humming to the song. "Peek up?" John said and looked into the window. So did I.

There she was, Emily, dancing with no partner, yet happy as ever. Her face was serene and calm, happy and blessed. She twirl and flop the dance perfectly. People say male will do the leading, and somehow, it felt as if there was a man right there leading her.

"She's dancing with the late Roger Garner," his sullen voice suddenly hits me as pain. I looked at him and saw his own serene attitude towards this. "My dad, he uh, he died when I was 14 and since then, mom quit and decided that she'll make my dad's dream to happen."

"This pizza parlour," I said. He chuckled.

"Yes, this pizza parlour. Quite an interesting ambition, but she did it. Got of a few debts at first but she finally managed. This is the only thing that will make her… be with him," he smiled, he was actually genuine with everything.

"And you came here once a week just to see if she's okay right," that is probably it. No one in their right mind would cycle for an hour just for a pizza, unless there is an important cause.

"That," he stood up. "And for the fact that I get free food. Some college students needs their money on balance so wasting some energy for it is good account for the money run. Come on."

"Where we going?"

"Home, its late and I'm gonna get arrested for kidnapping a social elite. I don't want my face on New York Times page six," sarcastically and I pulled myself up to hit him, this time, playfully. "I'll get us a cab."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, I'm not blind to see that you are thoroughly uncomfortable sitting on that busted crap, Blair. Its late, and cycling at night will be a problem."

"What about your bike?"

"My mom owns this place so I don't think they are gonna trash it away if I parked it here," he said holding to his bike.

"I…"

"Come on, it's hard enough to take a cab at night and …" for once just let me talk, geez Garner!

"I don't mind!" I was halfway yelling. He had his confusion. "I don't mind riding back on that piece of crap. Just saying." I could feel my tone is getting deeper to whispers.

"It's dangerous…"

"If I ride on my own!" wow, this cutting people of thing is really fun. "You… just have to be a superman if someone decides to hurt this beauty." What the hell am I saying?

He choked trying to suppress his laugh. He looked back at me. "Alright then."

Again, I was holding tight onto John on his dead beat crap. This time, it wasn't a meaningless conversations, it was a conversation about me. I told him about Serena, Nate, my parents, Chuck… Yes, even him. I could feel John's tense when I said Chuck is my boyfriend, but my assuring that Chuck is fine with me hanging out with my friends, and that's what it is. Just that, I liked that. His tense was gone.

"Told you I'll make it through that list," I could feel his grin.

That is right John Garner is a friend, a dear one to be exact. Even if I wasn't so sure why I could spill my whole life story to him. At first I thought it would balance on what he told me before, though now, it felt more as a comfort of telling someone. God, John, you are a super Oprah for making Blair Waldorf spill the beans.

One night only, and I feel that John Garner who entered my life selfishly had made me in more confusion than I have ever had in my whole life. Not to mention that Gossip Girl had made a mess on my secret hideaway.

TBC

* * *

**Good God I haven't been updating since so long! Architecture classes were hectic! Anyway, feel good in reading! I liked it and I hope you liked it. Its basically how friendship starts but clutter it in a few tid bits of romance. Oh and Gossip Girl too, she knows how to make a mess on things. **


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